The Language of the Dough Boy

One thing I have noticed much to my dismay is the alteration of the English language that has accommodated a marked decrease in individuals taking responsibility for themselves and their circumstances. Let me give you an example.

If I turn on the TV and tune into ‘The Biggest Loser’ or another program filled with fat people what I notice immediately is how they describe the problem. “I want to get rid of the weight,” they say.

The weight?

It’s not THE weight. It’s your weight. And it’s not your WEIGHT, it’s YOUR FAT. What you should be saying is, “I want to get rid of my fat.”

It seems now that when people have a problem that involves them having to take responsibility for it they refer to the issue as THE… rather than MY… They attempt to disassociate themselves from responsibility by labelling the problem as a separate entity. They then soften the issue by transferring what would be a realistic term with a new age politically acceptable term such as ‘weight’ rather than ‘fat’ in this instance.

The reverse then is true for things that individuals aren’t responsible for. For instance, I hear people all the time saying things like “I love my beer” or “I love my Washington Redskins.” Unless you make the beer yourself or own the team the correct thing to say is “I love beer” and “I love the Washington Redskins.”

Back to fat people…

How often have you heard this from an obese person?

“I love my crispy crème donuts but I gotta get rid of the weight.”

For the individual genuinely looking to do something about being overweight the correct thing to say would be, “I love crispy crème donuts but I’ve gotta get rid of my fat.” Great, now you’ve acknowledged that you have a problem of being fat and you’ve distanced yourself from the evils of donuts by not referring to them as ‘my’ anymore. A nasty habit is more easily broken when you stop attaching yourself to it.

Don’t distance yourself from your problems. Take ownership of what you want to rectify. And don’t substitute a poor sense of self by attaching ‘my’ to things that aren’t remotely yours.

The language that a person uses when they come to me for coaching is very revealing and sometimes I request that the athlete concerned take more responsibility for themselves by changing their terminology. Some athletes begin referring to aspects of their technique as separate from themselves e.g. THE arm swing as opposed to MY arm swing. When it is yours take ownership of it and make it better. THE technique is not getting better, YOUR technique is.

So when you finally jump on those scales and make your ideal weight you will know that you got rid of your fat with your hard work and determination. And you can take credit for it. And you can feel confident and leverage off that confidence and continue to grow, evolve and become the master of your life.

H